Destined
by hell-butterfly
Summary: She couldn't be by his side. Even though they had gone through so many years together. Tatsuki reflects on her childhood friend. Concerning IchigoXRukia, IshidaXOrihime, onesided TatsukiXIchigo.


**Destined**

**Disclaimer:** Bleach does not belong to me.

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A Tatsuki POV story. Concerning IchigoXRukia, IshidaXOrihime, one-sided TatsukiXIchigo. Conflicts and reflections.

-

Back then, Tatsuki was used to Orihime going to her house at night and chat about nothing at all. And their topic would drift about to rest on a certain orange-head. Tatsuki would listen to Orihime blabber about and smile, but deep inside she sometimes would feel a slight shudder.

Perhaps a pain.

Orihime liked Ichigo. That was no secret anymore.

But to Tatsuki, it was a hidden secret, a hidden pain.

She had read stories on how a boy and a girl who grew up together, who had always been together, finally got together when they grew up. And she would close the book and sigh.

In this case, wouldn't she, and Ichigo, be exactly the case?

But it was not. For her never, ever, regarded her as anything more than a friend.

And it hurt her to think so.

She had been by his side, when they were still children, when Ichigo was still that silly smirking kid who always lost in fights, who needed her protection.

She was the one who saw his sorrowful silhouette in the rain, on the night when he lost his beloved mother. She knew, she understood, she sympathized.

She witnessed how the edges of his face grew sharper and clearer, how the stupid smile disappeared from his face, replaced by the heavy worry and sadness in his tightly knitted brows.

She had been with him through the years, from little children to teenagers. She was the one who watched him grow up.

She was the one girl who would go to the arcade with Ichigo, she was the one girl who could visit his house. But still, she would laugh and say, no, I don't have any feelings for him apart from that of a friend. Why would I? He is just a friend…

She laughed, but deep inside she knew it was bitter.

She had expected perhaps, that one day the boy would turn back, and smile at the girl who had always been by his side, and hold out his hand to her. But Tatsuki knew it was impossible, it would have been Orihime rather than her.

Perhaps it was because they knew each other too well, that they were deemed no to belong.

Perhaps it was just destiny.

-

Tatsuki tried to put Ichigo and Orihime together. She was sincere, she knew, but wasn't there something she held back?

Why should I? It is ridiculous. I don't like him anyway.

But is that true?

They had drifted apart with the passage of time. They were no longer the little children who would run through alleys hand in hand. It was no longer possible.

She stood back and felt how strange it is that their roles switched without their realizing it. He was the tall tough guy who didn't need protection. He could look after himself well enough. And he had grown strong enough to protect others.

As for her, she had found herself in numerous situations when she could only stand there, completely defenseless, having to wait for help to come.

Would Ichigo…protect me?

He would of course. I'm his childhood friend.

But only friends. A small voice would mumble.

It's destined to be like it.

Once Tatsuki found that she could no longer shield Ichigo, her attentions were fully concentrated on the frail, delicate girl Orihime. Her friend.

It was her duty to keep bad guys away from Orihime, to punish those who wanted to hurt her.

And to give her the happiness she needed.

-

She knew that she couldn't win the battle, even though she had kept her hopes up for the past years, even though she had been piously praying for some miracle to happen.

And she knew, neither could Orihime.

The moment she saw the transfer student, she thought it would be the end of it.

The end of her useless struggle onto her hopes for his hand.

When Rukia appeared all of a sudden in his world…and in theirs.

They bickered hard, certainly. They pretended they were just newly acquainted. However, Tatsuki could see that Ichigo and Rukia were meant to be together, were made to be together.

She so delicately elegant, yet not without spirit.

He so coolly tough, yet not without gentleness.

Rukia would come bursting into a room and drag Ichigo out with her, and he would follow willingly despite his protests. Tatsuki had seen them running through the school, their hands clasped together. It was the first time when they reached their teens that she had seen him so willingly laying his hand in that of a girl.

She had caught him looking at Rukia, the knot in his brows easing a little, a sudden gentle light coming to rest in his deep eyes of sorrow.

And though Rukia stated that there was nothing between herself and Ichigo, the way she looked at him betrayed her words.

Tatsuki remembered catching a glimpse of Rukia and Ichigo at Orihime's home during the Hollow attack, and together again at the life Don Kanonji performance in the deserted hospital.

She knew that Orihime was not pleased by this. But the cheerful girl had so pure a heart that she wouldn't ever hate Rukia.

Tatsuki only felt bitter. It was destined to be so, perhaps, that Ichigo would ignore the one who had accompanied him all these years, and rest his eyes on the one who had entered his life for barely more than three months.

Why would she feel like this anyway?

-

Then came the day when Orihime, too, didn't need her protection any longer.

Pain.

The buds sucked at her body and it was painful.

Pain.

She couldn't help it when she hit Orihime. Her body was losing control.

And then, in a dazzle, she saw Orihime standing in a glorious circle, six bird-like objects zooming around her.

For that moment, she looked like a real hime, a princess.

So I've become so weak that I couldn't even protect those I care for.

Dull pain…

-

It was raining.

And Tatsuki was alone in her apartment, staring idly at the ceiling.

The others had left…on a mission…

And she was alone.

She opened her notebook, and the lines sprang into her eyes…

'If the person you love was always by your side and his love was always yours, there is nothing that can happen to make his love not yours…

'If his love was never yours, there is nothing that you can do to make it so, no matter how many opportunities, no matter how much time…'

A sudden sadness rushed up to her eyes, and some hot liquid slid down her cheeks silently. She touched it gingerly. No, it is not a tear, she told herself stubbornly. It is only the rain making it so.

Yes, she is tomboyish, she appears to be tough. But she is a girl nevertheless, and there is always a soft place in her heart, a place that can only be reached, and be stung, by one person, only.

But there is already somebody else in his eyes and there is no way that she can walk into those deep eyes of his anymore.

Perhaps from the start when they were still children it was destined to be so.

No matter how many opportunities, no matter how much time.

-

Sunshine returned when Orihime came back.

Tatsuki saw that the pain had eased in the eyes of the girl, and she wondered why.

Then one day she found the reason.

One day Tatsuki saw Orihime standing under the sakura tree alone. She appeared to be weeping silently. Perhaps she didn't want others to know. And Tatsuki thought, Orihime still hadn't forgotten about Ichigo.

She had thought of going down and comforting Orihime, but somebody else arrived before her.

She was surprised to see the tall, lean form of Ishida Uryuu, who appeared, it seemed, out of nowhere.

Later, when she asked Orihime what the lucky man had said to deserve what he had got, Orihime raised her head from a sweater she was knitting (though it was hardly autumn) and smiled.

He said that if I wanted, I could always use his shoulder.

So that had been what Orihime had been searching for in despair in the eyes of the orange-haired boy. A shoulder to rely on. And when she finally discovered that she couldn't find it in Ichigo she found it in somebody else.

And Tatsuki thought, the princess had found her knight at last. It was Ishida Uryuu, instead of Kurosaki Ichigo.

-

The days waned into disaster when the frightful arankarus appeared in their peaceful life.

And once again, the shadow of the girl who had appeared and disappeared so abruptly in the human world suddenly reappeared.

Rukia, standing on the windowsill like a goddess, looked aros the classroom and her eyes met those of Ichigo.

Both of the smiled.

So it was destined to be this way.

-

Tatsuki was sucking at an empty soft drink package when her eyes wandered to the same sakura tree under which Orihime had accepted Ishida.

His back to her, Tatsuki recognized the vivid form of the orange-head, only that he seemed to be calmer, more refined.

He stretched out his arms to the short dark-haired girl in front of him and gently enclosed her in a tight embrace.

It was not surprising, and Tatsuki suddenly found that she didn't react a she would have expected to. She simply smiled to them, and to herself, and turning, she retreated from the corridor.

Some hot liquid trailed down her face silently, and she raised a hand to touch it. No, it is not a tear, she reassured herself. I don't know what it is.

She knew that she had been a fool all these years, cherishing impossible hopes for his turning back. She had been foolish to expect any promises from him, to expect that after all, all he cared for was her.

The dream could then be sealed.

It seemed strange how her boy and her girl, who she had once thought to be rather naïve, found their happiness before her.

But she didn't think it was surprising. After all, it was destined to be so.

-End-

A/N: Oh this frightfully long one-shot! yawn Strange that the first Bleach fic I do is neither on my favorite character nor on my favorite pairing. I just had these strange feelings and ideas her and I had to let them out. After all, her feelings somewhat resemble mine—to a extent.

Oh yes and forgive the typing errors if any, I've checked some of them when I was going through it randomly. Guess there is something funny with my keyboard…

On a final note, please R & R!

------the butterfly from hell


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